| The New Girl | |
| Season 1, Episode 1 | |
 | |
| Air date: | December 19th, 2015 |
| Written by: | Tom Dylan |
| Directed by: | Tom Dylan |
| Production code: | 101 |
| Episode Guide | |
| previous N/A |
next Don't Get Caught |
The New Girl is the first episode of Season One of The KKT Diaries and the first episode overall. It premiered on December 19th, 2015.
Episode[]
It was there. At her front. The KKT sorority house. Grace was nervous. KKT was the only thing left from her late mother, and Grace really wanted to be part of it. But there was also a problem: sororities are troublemakers.
- Don't be nervous, Gracie - said her new BFF Zayday Williams. - I'm sure it will be all fine.
Grace really wanted to believe that, but she felt like something was wrong. That if she joined Kappa, everything would change. But Grace decided to ignore that, and move-
- Why are we still standing here? - asks Hester Ulrich, the girl with the neckbrace.
- Standing in a nice dress staring at the sunset babe - interrupts Tiffany DeSalle, the deaf girl obsessed with Taylor Swift.
All of them look at Tiffany, who stops singing.
- Let's just enter KKT - says Grace.
They all enter KKT. They sit in the living room waiting for The Chanels. They hear footsteps and they see a fabulous blonde girl, a brunette girl, a blonde girl with earmuffs, and a bloaded blonde girl that probably has teeth in her vagina coming down the stairs. The fabulous girl greets the pledges:
- Good evening, idiot hookers, and welcome to Hell Week!
- Sorry, what did you say? - asked Tiffany.
- I said WELCOME TO HELL WEEK! First thing you dumb whores are gonna do is dig wholes in our fabulous garden and then stay inside them all night when me, #2, #3 and #5 go to the White Stalion.
Grace and Zayday stand up.
- I am NOT doing that - says Grace in a agressive tone.
- Then walk out the door and never come back you stupid hippo.
- I'm not gonna let you haze any of these girls.
- Well, looks like you and I have some differences we need to hire now.
Grace and Chanel bitchface each other, but their bitchface contest is interrupted by the bloaded girl.
- Shouldn't one of us stay here and watch these girls?
- For god's sake #5, are you joking? Who would want to stay here with these-
- I could do it - says the brunette girl.
- You would miss banana daiquiris for these bitches?
- Well, if something happens to them, Box Munsch would expulse us! Do you want to get kicked off campus? - says the earmuffs girl.
- If I would get the chance to make hot sweet love with you... - whispers Sam.
- OK, #2 stays here watching you dumb hippos. Buh-bye!
Chanel, #3 and #5 get out of KKT.
Later, at night... The girls are inside the wholes they digged as #3, #2 and #5 are standing in front of them.
- The Sexy Gopher Whore Head Challenge is one of Kappa House's oldest hazing traditions. You gals are gonna stay here overnight, getting to know each other and trying to keep the ants from crawling up your noses, while the Chanels and I go get banana daquiris at the White Stalion. And #2 will be here making sure if you guys don't kill yourselves in the process. Good night, ladies.
#3 and #5 leave.
- I'm going inside the house, if anyone needs me, shout my name... Wait, no, you guys don't know my name and neither do I... Just shout Chanel #2.
#2 leaves.
- Guys, I can't move at all.
- I think that's the point.
- I don't mean to be a contrarian, but I'm enjoying this.
In Kappa house, #2 is all alone. She goes to her room, and grabs her phone.
At the DDS house, Chad is playing minigolf when Earl Grey interrupts the game.
- Earl, you just interrupted my minigolf game. THAT IS AGAINST THE RULES.
- Chad, we need to talk. Chanel called. She said you were breaking up with her because of the new KKT pledges?
- Earl, stay out of this. It is not your business. But yeah I'm breaking up with her. And you don't have the right to judge.
- Look, Chad, I just think that-
- IF YOU EVER JUDGE ME AGAIN, I WILL MAKE SURE YOU GET DEPORTED AND COME BACK TO LONDON, HEAR ME EARL GREY?!
- Chad, I came to this country legally, and besides, I can-
Chad's phone rings.
- Now, if you'll excuse me, I got to take this call.
Earl leaves the room. Chad grabs the phone.
- Hello?
- Hi, Chad.
- Hi, #2.
- So... Chanel is out with the other Chanels to the White Stalion. And I'm all alone.
- Why didn't you come with them?
- Because, I saw it as the perfect oportunity.
- To what?
- SERIOUSLY CHAD? Just stop by Kappa house and make sure you aren't noticed. There are stupid hippos at the KKT garden.
- Oh... I'm gonna bang you so hard, #2, you won't see it coming.
- I know you are.
- But what about Chanel? She can come to KKT at anytime.
- Don't worry about that stupid little blonde bitch. I have taken care of her. See ya later, Chad.
Chanel #2 hangs up.
Back at DDS...
- Can we talk now Cha-
- Look, Earl Grey. If you ever judge me again, I WILL KICK YOUR BRITISH ASS OUT OF DICKIE DOLLAR SCHOLARS DID YOU HEAR ME?
Chad leaves.
To be continued...